Harry Potter And The Squid
by Foxysquid
Summary: im FeEliN hyPA
1. Chapter 1

Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Chapter 2  
  
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One day Harry Potty and his friend Vonald Veaslet were walking through the nearby woods of Yorkshire, when they stumbled across a squirrel, by the name of Jimmy Bob Bob Bob.  
  
"Hello!" said Vonald as he skipped airily towards to squirrel. "What's in that evil looking bag of yours?"  
  
"It is the personality of a small boy who just happened to be walking by 5 minutes ago, I sucked it out through his nose!" said the squirrel, maniacally *plays ukulele* as Vonald ran away screaming.  
  
Hairy Pooty pulled out a newspaper by the name of The Daily *dies*  
  
"I've seen you in the papers," said Harry.  
  
"OOOOOOHHHHHH!" said the squirrel enthusiastically and pulled out a chess set. "Fancy a game?!" Harry greatly accepted.  
  
"I'll whip your tush you furball!" Hairy said menacingly.  
  
Just before the squirrel managed to whip Harry's tush, a squid danced past, twirling a baton and linking arms with Miss Fairless, who was yodelling loudly.  
  
"Hellooooooooooooooo!" said the squid, "We're off to the land of the moles, to play the banjo and a good old game of bowls! Care to join us?"  
  
"Do I know you?" Harry said,  
  
"Nope" said the squid "But we could have a jolly good time, Tee Hee!"  
  
"Okey Dokey!" said Harry, The squid clawed at his face and got ready for the ride, as the squirrel ran off towards the horizon and vanished in a puff of smoke, looking for cannabis.  
  
Harry, the squid and miss Fairless went off and had a jolly good time,  
  
Meanwhile Ron was being devoured my evil, Irish crocodiles on the island of Moujaka! (which doesn't actually exist.)  
  
The squid said to Harry  
  
"What are you doing tomorrow?"  
  
"I don't think so," said Harry looking gormless..........  
  
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Thanks to Sheen Rox and Sinbad-rulz for making this all possible *Sighs* *Dies* *Fly's* Now review! 


	2. Chapter 2

For many years (4) Miss Fairless haunted our middle school lives *play ukulele* But first.... a short song is in order.  
  
GLUUUUUUUUUUUUUE! FISH I AM A SQUID OH YEAH OH YEAH OH YEAH OH YEAH LADIES!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(In cheesy Scottish accent) Henry you're too fat for the Olympics.  
  
Now on with this random, deranged yet strangely interesting fic. A tale of mystery and suspense. About Miss Fairless...who looked like troll and smelled like a troll and was a troll, and kept a box of dead monkeys in her bedroom (aka the history room) BLARG!!!!!!!!  
  
Miss Fairless is a flee rat, she enjoys cards and knitting and bowls and frogishness. She lives in a box with many a dead monkey. She lied about her age. We all thought she was -500 but she was really stuck in a Lexmark colour printer! *Eats squid*  
  
Whooooooooooo hooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooo hooooooooooooo oooooooooo hoooooooooooooooo whoooooooooooooo hooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooo hooooooooooo.  
  
For all you people who wanted to know Tim Bushman's code name *eats toothpick* is Timbo! Ha! We unmasked your secret you......you.....you MOLEMAN!!!!!!!!!!!! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmoleymoleymoleymoleymoleymoleymoleymoley!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Yes people I am aware that I have a mole on my nose, also LOOK OUT MR BADGER'S ABOUT!!!!!!!!!! He is armed and dangerous with a pet spatula named Matthew.  
  
Anyway back to Miss Fairless.  
  
She set the badgers on us when we wouldn't sort her cards out in colour code order and number letter order. TOO MANY BADGERS EATING ORANGES *eats orange manically*  
  
Your probably wondering what this has to do with Harry Potter, well......nothing. It's a whole load of random Squidishness! Except for.  
  
OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!!!!  
  
ABSORBANT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!!!  
  
IF WIZARDLY NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
THEN DROP ON THE DECK A FLOP LIKE A FISH HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!!!!  
  
HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!!!!  
  
HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!!  
  
HARRRRRRRRRRRRY POTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTER *plays nose* doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo!  
  
THE END OF CHAPTER 1 IS NIGH! REVIEW REVIEW I LIKE POO!!!!!!!!!! 


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